In the old days it was very different being born a boy or a girl into the family. A boy would grow up and continue the lineage of his family by getting married so as to have sons that could carry on the family name. A girl, on the other hand, was expected to marry and move out and to bear sons for her husband so as to continue his lineage. It was very difficult for the daughters, once married and moved out, to return and visit their familiar maiden home: there were no good roads or fast cars, and women in those days probably had small feet, or even if they had normal-sized feet, there must have been tons of house choirs to occupy their waking hours. Even if they were fortunate enough to have maids to help them they could not take long leaves at will - unless they were brave ( or "audacious" ) enough to go against the tradition.

I noticed that most male ancestors got married soon after their first wives died, while it was different for the wives if they were survived. Some women lived several decades as widows. My Great Grandma was a widow not long after her marriage. In fact, she was married into the family to serve my Great Grandfather, who probably was already very sick. Tradition had it that the older could not serve the younger. If he had not married there would not have been anyone in the family to take care of him. In the old time there were no hospitals for chronically ill or dying patients. When it was clear that he could not have a son they arranged one for him - from another family. That family was requested never to reveal who they were to Grandfather's offspring, and they sure have kept their promise.

As a baby Grandfather was looked after not just by Great Grandmother but also by one of Great Grand's sister-in-law, who just had a baby and could breast-feed. If you take a look at the Timeline you probably could correctly point out which ancestor this was. Remember, in those days there were no formulas or powdered milk for little babies!

I was glad Grandfather was well taken care of.

Many years later, when Great Grandmother passed away, her adopted son, that is, Grandfather, had to do the funeral. Tradition had it that there were rituals that were to be done only by women. The family therefore arranged a wive for Grandfather. The first thing Grandma did when she came to the Huangs was to mourn and to perform the rituals in the funeral for her mother-in-law. She just lived in the house as a ritual performer. The real marriage did not take place before the mourning period was over.

Grandmother was loved and respected by Grandfather, which was the fact that my mom and all my aunties had witnessed.

More about my Grandfather :   See   Mom's Ancestors

I spent my pre-teen and teenage years in Taiwan among these relatives. We were pretty close - until after I left the island in 1980. You can see them in the table below.

(**Remarks added in Oct, 2020 : Info in the table below was of 2009. No updates whatsoever.**)